Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Wild Tuesday...

Well I had to share my day today with everyone. It was pretty hectic but worthwhile.

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning. Not typical for me to say the least. Especially since the boys had a 4-hour delayed school opening and since I went to sleep around 1:30! I don't know why but I woke up wide awake. I got up and something persuaded me to take a shower and clean up that early. Around 6:40 I left the house and went into Frederick for coffee. I generally always go to Beans and Bagels. I was there for about an hour and when I left I drove up and around the block and something made me go down the street that our church is located. As I was approaching it was about 7:50 and I saw the sign out front indicating that morning mass was at 8AM.

I don't know why but, again, something persuaded me to park the car down the street and and go to mass. Now, I'm not Catholic, and I've NEVER been to AM mass before but today I did. I went in and sat down in the 4th row. Me and a bunch of elderly people praying the rosary! After a few minutes the priest came out from behind the altar and guess who it was.......
Yup!!! FATHER WAYNE. Father Wayne was the priest that came to our house the day Chris died and gave a blessing and also presided over her service at the church and cemetery. We really love him and his teachings and were blessed to have him do her service.

After a few moments in church he saw me and a huge smile came over him. The mass was nice actually. Very quiet, no signing, choir, singing or any of that. It lasted about 30 minutes. Afterwards Father Wayne found me outside and we chatted for awhile. I told him I wasn't sure why I was there but after I saw him I knew why. Somebody wanted me to be there that morning for to listen and see him. I think we all know who!

Father Wayne is actually suffering from cancer himself and is going to chemo next week. I offered to go with him if he needed someone. I'm sure he has a long list but I sincerely wanted to help him out for all he did for us.

After church I walked to the car and kept walking. It was a nice morning and I was feeling pretty good. I walked a couple of miles in the downtown area of Frederick. It was great. I then went home and got started on some work and got the boys up and off to school.

At 2pm I had a meeting with a therapist. It was nice to chat with someone about what was going on. Me... I'm okay. Not great. Sad. Lonely at times. Busy. But I'm doing the right things and I keep making progress. Tough times are ahead I'm sure. I'm also concerned about the boys. Especially Michael. His grades are not anywhere near where they should be. The therapist said that boys need led at that age and that they are seeing me and looking at me for direction. It has been hard to show that direction but I'll start getting more in tuned with schoolwork and all that again.

At 4:45 I had 5 conferences with Michael's teachers for parent/teacher day. We worked out a plan for him to get his grades up to something acceptable. He's got a lot of work to get done in the next 2 weeks but he's already begun. I just hope that I can keep up with everything. Chris and I used to be "good cop bad cop". I would threaten them with bodily harm or injury and then she would come in and help with the homework. I have to do both now!!!! We'll all adjust I'm sure but it's so hard right now.

When I got home around 6:15 I went out and made one of our last "Let's Dish" dinners that came to us from COMSTAR. It was just wonderful and all I had to do was cook it on the grill. The boys and I then sat down to dinner and had a nice dinner. Chris's seat is empty and it's really hard to sit there and not think about her at the dinner table. Very similar to when Alex left for college. That was a hard adjustment for me as well.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I thought you all could use some casual reading. Take care and god bless. And please say a prayer for Father Wayne Funk at St. John's as he continues his cancer battle. Good night...


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